This quote was shared today;
There is one thing that Alzheimer’s cannot take away, and that is love. Love is not a memory it is a feeling that resides in your heart and your soul.
How I wish that this were true… How can someone love when they have no memory of their loved ones? For some, when the person with dementia (PWD) denies they have had a partner or a child – there is no one to be loved, that is the reality of their world.
We are the sum of our experiences. Memory is what makes us who we are, it governs how we react in certain circumstances. Memories are not only singular there are shared community memories. Memories provide us with a common meeting point, learned behaviours and understanding of the world we live in
While many with dementia are living meaningful lives we need to admit that in the final stages that these things happen.
We must face the reality of what happens in order to process and deal with it.
The PWD many be motoring along fine in their own world, and we should be grateful for that. But for those who love and have supported the PWD we are already mourning their loss, this is recognised and called ambiguous grieving.
We will always love the PWD and remember for them, but it is a lonely walk.
Dementia will not rob me of my love for the one I love, but it may rob them of their love for me.